Wednesday, May 06, 2009

i am an addict. here is my story.


i just felt the need to proclaim my love for a product i consume entirely too much of. my friends often make fun of me, not for the fact that i usually have 6 cases of diet snapple on hand at my house at all times, but because you can often find them neatly lined up on the bottom of my nightstand for easy access. you can almost always find 2 bottles in my handbag at any given time and the number of empty bottles in my trashcan is downright embarrassing. think of your trash bags filled with beer bottles the morning after a party. thats what my trash bags look like every day with my snapple bottles.

i can specifically remember a time when my mother didn't let me know about a sale on cases of snapple and i freaked out on her. it has gotten so bad that my best friends mother actually buys cases for me when they go on sale in new jersey! every time i stop by the house, she has a case waiting for me. my birthday is coming up soon and i feel like billy madison with his snack packs. if someone were to give me a case of diet snapple wrapped in pretty paper, i would be overjoyed. its the little things.

i consider this a healthy addiction. however, only minutes ago my mother sent me an e-mail about aspartame poisoning. to which i say, if news came out tomorrow that diet snapple will kill your first unborn child, not call you in the morning, and then pee on your rug, i would ask them to pass me a bottle.

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